Some people will argue with the declaration made in the title of
this post.  But in my experience, if employees don’t respect and trust
you, they’re certainly not going to follow you.  Some managers,
especially young ones, think that if you’re “popular” or funny, or
caring, or everyone’s buddy, that is enough to get everyone around you
to follow.  While this is true part of the time, when the going gets
tough (which is when you need them to have enough trust to follow you)
they’ll go a different direction.  Managers who strive to be loved
instead of respected often have this problem.

Here’s an example.  I was recently told about a company where the
manager is everyone’s friend.  They laugh together, play together, and
generally have a good time together.  Unfortunately, lately her
employees are starting to (publicly) second guess her decisions and
it’s causing serious discord in the business.

This manager decided one of the younger (in terms of experience in
the company) supervisors would get a special honor.  Another supervisor
— with more time, more experience, (and a horrible attitude), was
passed over for the honor.  As you can imagine, he began to think, ‘Why
me?  I’ve been here for xx years and I’m the most qualified, why was I
passed over?”  Now this thought process is human nature.  No problem. 
Where it gets out of hand is the point that that supervisor begins to
solicit support from the other supervisors.  It became especially bad
when the whole business began choosing sides.

What do you do if you’re the manager?

First, we need to agree that this isn’t a problem of morale, etc. 
It’s a problem of respect.  It says, “Not only do I not like your
choice, I’m going to challenge your authority to make such a decision
in front of the whole company.’  The manager who is trying to be loved
takes a very soft line in resolving this issue, because if you do
something harsh, everyone might not love you.

The right thing to do is cut that person loose.  Do it now.  Don’t
wait.  Don’t hesitate.  Do it now and do it decisively.  Then make sure
the rest of the supervisors know exactly what you did, and exactly why
you did it.  After all, what this supervisor was saying to anyone who
will listen was, “I don’t respect this manager and you don’t have to
either.”  This is the beginning of the end of your management career if
you let this grow.  At the point where the person crosses the line and
challenges your authority, you have no choice but to terminate his
employment.  Anything less will create a huge, unresolvable mess in the
business.

It’s good to be loved, for sure.  It’s better to be respected and
trusted.  People who respect you will say, “I don’t like that decision,
but I trust you to do what’s right for the company.”  That’s the
attitude they ought to have.  Like most things, you can help or hurt
yourself.  I’m not suggesting you have to be a tyrant or a jerk.  On
the contrary.  People don’t give their best efforts for a tyrant or a
jerk.  You have to be kind, and treat people with dignity and respect. 
But you have to be the boss.  There can only be one leader of each
pack.  that has to be you.  You’ll only get that if they respect you.