I have done business with all types of people in my career.  Some I enjoyed doing business with, some not.  As I reflect on those that I found frustrating to deal with, one theme consistently runs through all of them:  I never felt confident I knew what they were saying.

Some people are in-your-face blunt.  I don’t care for that and you don’t either.  Some people are so afraid of offending you, it’s almost painful for them to tell you (or ask you for) anything.  Those are the ones that drive me crazy.  In their effort to avoid any offense whatsoever, they tone down (and water down) the message to the point you have no idea what they’re even saying half the time.  They dance all the way around the issue.  They use metaphors and alliteration.  They use third person when they speak.  They use all the artifices at their disposal to avoid just saying what’s on their mind and letting the chips fall where they fall.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not suggesting you be tactless, rude, insensitive, or anything like that.  If you’re a regular reader you know I advocate treating everyone with dignity and respect.  But you still have a responsiblity in business to communicate your point in a way that avoids any confusion.  If you direct me to do something in a way that causes me to misunderstand what you are talking about and it all goes bad, whose fault is it?  Of course I have a responsibility to do what you tell me (if I’m working for you) but you have a responsiblity to explain what you want in a way that leaves no room for confusion on my part.  I’d say the culpability lies with the poor communicator.  

Ask two or three key people who report to you how they think you’re doing as a communicator.  Ask if they always know exactly what you mean and if there’s anything you can do to improve.  If your employees trust you, they’ll tell you the truth.

At the end of the day, this whole dilemma is solved if you’ll just say what you mean.  Say it in a respectful way, but be direct enough that people understand what you want.  If you’ll just do that one thing, everyone will be happier in the long run.  Communication errors are usually caused by trying harder to avoid offense rather than trying harder to avoid confusion.  What do you think?