I got into a discussion of business ethics the other night with a man I know well.  This man is considered by pretty much everyone who knows him to be an honorable man.  He is fair and honest in his business dealings.  He is helpful to those who are less fortunate and is viewed by most as a pillar in the community.  He has been tremendously successful in his life when measured by the yardstick of the world.  The thing I find interesting about him is his view on the world.  There is little of black or white in his world.  He sees everything as lighter or darker shades of grey.

As often happens in this type of discussion with people who live in this grey world, his preference was to talk about situational ethics, not about fundamental values and morals.  

“Is killing wrong?” he asked (already knowing my answer.)

“Of course,” I replied.

“Well, I agree for the most part.  But what if someone had your wife or your children and was going to kill them if you didn’t act first.  Would it be wrong to kill that person?”   This is the way these people think.  They aren’t looking for the rule, they’re always looking for the exception to the rule  – looking for ways to justify their actions (or proposed actions.)  I mean really.  What is the likelihood my wife, children and I will find ourselves in that position?  

This, of course is just the jumping off point for these people.  If it’s okay to kill in this situation, what about a situation that’s a little more grey?  Then a little more grey and so on.  That’s how you justify what you’re about to do right now — by starting at a point far from the current situation and working backwards.

My response was simple:  ”It’s always wrong to take the life of another human being.  Would I do it?   Probably.  Would a jury of my peers convict me of a crime?  No, probably not.  Would I be justified in doing so?  Probably.  Would that make it right?  I don’t think so.”

The key phrase in this response is, “.. would I be justified.”  After all, isn’t that what we’re trying to do with situational ethics?  Trying to find a way to “justify” an action that we somehow know is wrong?  Just because we can “justify”something doesn’t make it right. 

There are many who go through life this way.  They are constantly expending their energy looking for ways to justify what they do.  They don’t want to be judged of others to be less than honorable, so they justify what they do that is (in the mind of many) questionable.  They have become so adept at convincing others that what they’ve done is okay, they start to believe it themselves.

As you can undoubtedly tell, my world is pretty black and white.  I look for ways to live by a code of ethics and a moral code that I’ve adopted for myself.  I don’t try to justify things so I can walk outside what I believe to be true and right.  Even though I might be able to justify my actions to you, I still have to look at myself each morning in the mirror and decide whether I’m living true to me.  Being true to you (meaning all with whom I come into contact) means nothing if I’m not true to me.

Are there exceptions to living in a black and white world?  Sure.  Am I sometimes forced to make a decision I’d rather not make?  Rarely, but it happens.  When it happens do I try to justify it to myself and to others?  Never.  In my opinion, you live by the rule and adjust to the exceptions as they come.  You don’t live by the exception, because when you do, there is no rule.  When you live by the exception things become totally clouded and you have no way to judge how you’re doing.  You lose track of where you are in the grand scheme of things.

So at the end of the day it all comes down to the same question: do you live in a world that is black and white, or is your world a shifting kaleidoscope flashing constantly changing shades of grey?   This is a very individual thing.  I suspect how you respond will be deeply rooted in your experiences that, from a very young age, have shaped who you are.  Make no mistake, I don’t judge you for who you are and how you see the world.  I see it my way based on my experiences and you see it yours.  I don’t have to live with anybody but me.  You don’t have to live with anybody but you.  I do it my way so I can be happy with me.  You do the same for you.  

The only caveat I see in all this is that it’s important to know how those you do business with see the world.  Much of your business relationship will be driven by that.